As these words are emerging, opening credits of 1962’s movie of Tennessee Williams’ “Sweet Bird of Youth” are creating appropriate background for, hopefully, 2020’s only political column occupying this space.
Hard to ignore politics this February, what with the President’s State of the Union Address, Iowa Caucuses and, oh yes, impeachment proceedings of the White House’s current, transient occupant.
It’s Friday afternoon and there’s an incoming update of Thursday’s MSN headline: “100% of Iowa results reported; AP won’t call winner.”
Update: Bernie and Pete.
Looked for Dan Rather on TV declaring Al Gore the winner.
Or Thomas Dewey.
Freedom of speech (FOS), cited somewhere constantly, doesn’t mean everybody must comment on every subject — to Tweet or not to Tweet? ask the Dixie Chicks.
Speaking of that evil word, the “Dixie Highway” name has been condemned by Miami-Dade County Commissioners.
Apparently, FOS doesn’t apply to all people all the time in all situations.
Ask Chen Qiushi, Alex Vindman, Susan Collins, Prince Charles, Judge Mark Tranquilli, or the Washington State school principal suspended for an insensitive Facebook posting about Kobe Bryant’s death, “karma,” she called it.
Meanwhile, Larry King (86) is discussing reasons for divorce … for the eighth time, a situation that should favor the wrinkled talk-show host since some Burger Kings are trading Whoppers for pictures of ex-spouses.
PETA folks who cost elephants honest circus jobs, found fault in Super Bowl halftime feathered costumes, now want “pets” called “animal companions” and will likely demand meat-less Whoppers at their local BK.
Local voters elected Max, a Golden Retriever, mayor of Idlewild, California.
Alabama has a Twinkle holding office; nationally, a Beto’s trolling.
Kyle Mooty’s nightmare cougar, Nancy the Ripper (79), sometimes appears she’s on the path “Miss Cuthbert” (Pauline Brailsford) blazed in “A League of Their Own.”
Cuthbert’s crinkled face caused “Jimmy Dugan” (Tom Hanks), manager of the Rockford Peaches of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League, upon awaking with his usual whiskey overhang on a long bus ride, to say something akin to, “By the way, I loved you in ‘The Wizard of Oz.’”
Many political questions were left unanswered February 1-7, one being Mitt Romney getting caught drinking chocolate milk from an unauthorized glass bottle during the impeachment circus.
Keep reading for THE crucial unanswered impeachment question, Neal.
Didn’t have to watch any impeachment or caucus proceedings to know Sen. Everett Dirksen was correct in the ’60s when he said, “there’s not a dime’s worth of difference” between the Democrats and Republicans in Congress … anywhere.
Ciphering time value of money, inflation and other factors, Dirksen’s 10 cents are now worth an amount far flung from a dime.
Make the difference in 2020 terms two cents, the amount public figures seem determined to put in … regardless.
Few thinking folks would offer a penny for big-time politicians’ or celebrities’ comments.
See: Pete Rose, Jessica Mendoza, Steve Clifford, AOC, Jane Fonda and Barry Booker.
Wonder why political correctness doesn’t apply to politicians?
From here, picayunish national politicians bear striking resemblances to swole-up professional wrestlers, you know, guys who fight like the dickens in arenas rife with TV cameras, microphones and cellphone users … then slug cocktails or share steroids together at motels afterwards.
Know the main difference between today’s big-time wrestlers and politicians?
Oh, the primary unanswered impeachment question?
Where’d Mitt get chocolate milk in a bottle?