Joe Biden was as sure a thing to win the Democratic Party’s nomination to go up against Donald Trump in 2020 as Alabama is to beat Western Carolina later this season. But Biden has fumbled more often than a rookie running back with hands of butter and has opened the floodgates for Crazy (if it’s not his first name it should be) Bernie Sanders’ chances. Kamala Harris has done next to nothing to move up in the polls, and Elizabeth Warren and Beto O’Rourke have less a chance than the Catamounts do in Tuscaloosa on Nov. 23.
If there was a turnover chain to give to the candidates each time they recovered a Biden fumble, there would be some serious bling bling hanging from the neck of Crazy Bernie.
Aside from his downright weird touching and kissing of unsuspecting women through the years, Biden has had a history of other gaffes. They include:
* He once mourned the death of the Irish Prime Minister. She was not dead.
* Apparently, ol’ Joe is not math whiz. He once said, “If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30% chance we’re going to get it wrong.”
* President Obama probably wanted a do-over with his choice as vice president. At a fundraiser, Biden told an audience they were forewarned about Obama’s first few months in office. “Remember, I said it standing here, if you don’t remember anything else I said, watch, we’re going to have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of (Obama).”
* He was actually trying to bond with an Indian-American supporter when he said, “In Delaware, the largest growth of population is Indian Americans, moving from India. You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I'm not joking."
* Again, he struggles with math. Biden once told CSPAN that he finished in the top half of his class at Syracuse Law School. He actually finished 76th out of 85.
* He didn’t even endorse himself. After being chosen by Obama as vice present, Biden told an audience “Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be Vice President of the United States of America. Let's get that straight. She's a truly close personal friend. She is qualified to be President of the United States of America. She's easily qualified to be Vice President of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me.”
* Obama should have seen it coming. On the day Obama filed his paperwork to launch his presidential campaign, Biden said “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man."
* Perhaps his biggest gaffe, if you’re scoring at home: Biden was speaking at rally once when he said “"I'm told Chuck Graham, state senator, is here. Stand up Chuck, let 'em see you. Oh, God love you. What am I talking about? I'll tell you what, you're making everybody else stand up, though, pal." Graham was confined to a wheelchair.
I once followed Indianapolis as much as any team in sports with a friend playing there and catching passes – though he was more of a blocking tight end -- from the great Peyton Manning. I couldn’t have been more disappointed in Colts’ fans booing during a preseason game as they began to receive the news that Andrew Luck was going to announce his retirement. Kudos to many ESPN personalities for voicing their displeasure of the clowns in the stands.
One, did they want Luck to hang on by sitting on the sideline where he was of no help at all? Or two, did they want him to limp out onto the field and play ineffectively with likely more injuries than any of the beer-bellied, flat-footed fans have ever endured?
This is not a “good luck” column note, “rather a good for Luck” as he put his ago aside in favor of his body and family.